Better + Brighter: Be Tempered
Better + Brighter: week 3: Be tempered
Jesus teaches that anger, left unchecked, destroys relationships and darkens lives. Being tempered means assessing our anger, adjusting our attitudes, and pursuing reconciliation quickly. When we respond with humility and grace instead of rage, we reflect Jesus and bring light into conflict.
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Week 3 — Be Tempered
Matthew 5:21–24
Anger has become one of the defining emotions of our time. From social media outrage to everyday impatience, it seems normal to live on edge. But Jesus challenges that normalization by addressing anger at its source — the heart.
Jesus takes the commandment against murder and moves it inward. He teaches that unchecked anger doesn’t just damage emotions; it kills relationships, trust, and joy. It darkens environments and wounds people deeply.
Being tempered doesn’t mean suppressing emotion — it means submitting it to the Spirit.
The first step is assessment. Beneath anger is often something else: exhaustion, insecurity, fear, grief, or unmet expectations. When we slow down enough to ask what’s really going on, healing can begin.
Next comes acknowledgment. Anger left unchecked leads to sin. Scripture repeatedly warns that it doesn’t produce righteousness. Recognizing this keeps us from justifying behavior that hurts others.
Jesus then invites us to adjust our attitude toward people. Instead of reacting to what someone did, we ask, “What might be happening in their world?” Empathy disarms anger and invites grace.
Finally, Jesus emphasizes reconciliation. When conflict arises, we don’t delay restoration. We move quickly, humbly, and intentionally. Bitterness grows when reconciliation is postponed.
Jesus models this perfectly. Rather than harboring bitterness toward those who betrayed Him, He moved toward reconciliation — even at the cost of His life. When we follow His example, we bring light into the darkest emotions.
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Small Group Curriculum – Better & Brighter
Small Group Curriculum – Week 3: Be Tempered
Main Scripture: Matthew 5:21–24 (NLT)
Big Idea: Don’t be temperamental — be tempered.1. Connect (Icebreaker)
Fun: Describe a funny or awkward moment when you lost your temper (road rage, sports, kids, etc.).
Personal: How do you usually respond when you’re angry — loud and outward, or quiet and inward?
Transition: Anger is a universal emotion, but Jesus teaches us to handle it differently. Rather than reacting in rage, He calls us to be tempered — controlled by love and guided by peace.2. Discover (Scripture & Discussion)
Read Matthew 5:21–24; Ephesians 4:26–27 (NLT).
Discussion Questions:
• Why do you think Jesus connects anger to murder?
• What’s the difference between feeling anger and acting in anger?
• How can recognizing the “iceberg beneath” your anger (the real cause) help you grow spiritually?
• How does reconciliation with others reflect God’s heart toward us?
• (Dig Deeper) Read Colossians 3:12–13.
• What attitudes help you control anger and pursue peace?
3. Respond (Application & Prayer)
Personal Application:
What situation right now tests your temper the most?
What step of reconciliation or forgiveness do you need to take this week?
Group Prayer Prompt:
Pray for self-control and humility in moments of anger.
Ask God to bring healing and reconciliation where relationships have been damaged.
Challenge for the Week:
💬 Memory Verse: James 1:19–20 (NLT) – “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”
🌿 Next Step: Before responding in frustration, pause and pray. Ask, “What’s it like in their world?” Let empathy guide your reaction.⏱️ Designed for 45–60 minutes
Connect (10–15 min)
Discover (25–30 min)
Respond (10–15 min)
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CONWAY
AYNOR
SOUTH STRAND